Today I am working at the antique store I have a booth at. It was very busy this morning but now has died down. I have 1 1/2 hours to go before I can close up. I wandered around and looked at stuff, played on the computer, wrote the last post’s haiku on a chalkboard for sale and took this photo.
When I loaded it I thought something looked familiar. Besides it is me of course. I see my Dad’s mother in my face. I can’t pinpoint what it is but she is there. I’ve gotten a glimpse of her in my face before.
I am happy to see my face isn’t so round anymore. I have lost 45# since last August with more to go. I don’t wear glasses. These are my cheap Walmart readers. They give me balance and definition I think.
My hair is like wire and I don’t color it. I’m pretty fortunate that the gray has sprinkled itself pretty even throughout. I sometimes ask the hairdresser what it looks like. They always say good but then what are they going to say. I hope they are honest, not that it would matter. I’m an old hippie chick that believes in nature taking its course and accepting that.
Last month I bought my first full length mirror. I just stood in front of it nude, then with panties and bra. Man, when did I get so old? And wrinkly? It isn’t horrible. It is my reality. I don’t plan on doing a bikini calendar anytime soon. Promise!
The last time I actually looked at myself like that was 30 years ago when I was 120# (I was 5’11”).
I had gained a lot of weight with kids and the stress of a husband who…well, we won’t get into that. Let’s just say it’s complicated. I got that from the internet.
Last August I moved out of our bedroom to the room upstairs. He snores, I had hot flashes. I am the type who needs my own space. He is the type that is constantly in my space. We mix like oil and water these days.
Just like that 45# fell off me. Honestly I didn’t even try. I was shocked. I am embarrassed every time someone asks me what I am doing. I mean, nothing really. Besides now sleeping and walking away to my room when I don’t want to deal with my husband anymore.
I did join our local fitness center to get in better shape for my upcoming trip to Poland. I am taking my son as a graduation gift so it is a big chunk of change. I don’t want to be the one holding everyone up. I have a long way to go physically and only a month to get there. I have arthritis and sitting in a car delivering mail has my back screwed up. And my ankle.
I went to my Dr. I don’t think she listened at all. She put me on prednisone for 6 days for “plantar fasciitis” which is not what it is. But what do I know, right? Maybe it can be irritated through the ankle. Drugs helped but once done it was back.
Last week, through total desperation, I went to a chiropractor for the first time. I told him our mission is to get me walking good in a month. He is a miracle worker! I hadn’t felt that good in 2 years! I will be going back often to build up on the progress. But for the first time since booking this trip I am allowing myself to get excited.